The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Just lounging at Grandpa & Grandma's house reflecting on the last semester (3.5 months) of my life. Wow, a lot has changed!

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it."
- Anais Nin

Change is a good thing. It means growth; prosperity.

Go through life with God taking control and you will ultimately be brought happiness!

I know this, because in these last few months, God has truly blessed me. My life has literally been turned around from days on end of depression, sadness, and turmoil into utter and complete happiness and joy. My faith has been restored. I have met amazing people who have helped me through a lot of things, and the future has a way of arriving unannounced =)

I'll let you into a little pocket of my life - approximately a week and a half ago I was in tears (again) lying in my bed. My best friend and roommate at college, Jade, had just left for back home to L.A., and my other roommate was moving out of our room. Which meant I still had three days in Boston where I'd be pretty much alone because all my other friends were going home that day.

(I know...boo-hoo...but I was down in the dumps.)

I had been having a tough last month because George and I finally severed all ties, and ended our one-year relationship. Which while it is a very good thing and it needed to be done, you can't help but feel sad about the whole situation and how things got so screwed up. But he was a previous chapter in my life - someone who helped me grow up and realize the qualities I didn't want in a person. I was finally ready to start a new chapter in my life. And my, was it going to be exciting! I was determined to be happy again - with myself, with Berklee, and with my life.

That Wednesday after Jade left, I called my mom:

(Sobbing...) "Mom, I don't know what I'm going to do these next few days. Jaaaade left...she was my best friend... I'm really going to miss her! My other friend couldn't meet with me today. Now all I have are a bunch of finals and those are no fun. And I'm supposed to go sing at this thing tonight, my R&B styles lab teacher sent us an email saying we had to come."

"Jourdan, things are going to be alright. Go to this thing tonight - I'm sure you'll have fun. I love you and can't wait to see you on Saturday. Try to have a good night, okay?"

"Alright. Thanks. Love you too. Bye."

So after that, laying in my bed, I decided to pray again. I had been doing this a lot lately, and I have really been trying to get back into my faith with God. I hadn't yet found a church in Boston, and I really wanted to. I didn't care what type of Christian church it was - only that I could surround myself with other worshipers and believers in Christ.

Okay, God. I'm going to put my life in Your hands. You know I've been going through a tough time lately...please send someone in my life to make me happy again. I want to start over - my future is full of possibilities! Please, Lord, help these three days go by a little fast so I'm not so lonely. Amen.

I fell asleep, not setting an alarm. Something (or Someone =P) woke me up right at 7:25 - five minutes before the jam session started. Ehhhh...I thought. Do I really have to go to this? YES, Someone answered.

So I hopped up out of bed, picked one of my favorite holiday songs - "Merry Christmas, Baby" - a jazzy, bluesy, fun song to sing, and went downstairs.

When I entered room B16, it was not what I had expected. There was a table of food, and lots of people! I had expected only the kids in my class - but this was over twenty people. My teacher saw me, smiled, and announced, "You're gonna sing tonight!" I blushed, and nodded sure. There was a full band of kids, and we all started singing great oldies together. Kids took turns at the microphone, and it was fun dancing around and being a background singer. I didn't really recognize anyone there, but I felt the love. These were nice people.

Then it was my time to sing. I handed out my song to the band, and they started the groove. It was rockin'!!! I was really happy, and just let go. Something about that performance made it perfect. I wasn't really trying, yet it sounded great. I had a really fun time, and after I was done, everybody clapped.

I sat down, feeling accomplished, and started eating some chips. That's when I saw him - what was his name again? Oh yeah...Josh! I had met him once a couple months ago in my dorm - he had come in with some other guys wanting to check out my Dream Theater merch on my wall and meet me. He was standing there hopping around, playing bass. I remember at that moment, watching him with the biggest smile on his face, Wow...this is what Berklee is all about. People playing because they LOVE it. He really has the passion and love for his instrument. That's awesome.

Afterward, I saw Josh again and told him he did a great job. He smiled, and said thanks. "I really like your dress," he said.

I smiled, "Thanks." Then I remembered why I was here in the first place. To meet new people and start that new chapter in my life.
"Hey...if you want to hang out later, I'm in room 613. My roommates all left, so I've been a little lonely with no friends to talk to."
"Sure, sounds cool."
"Okay great. Well I'll see you around!"

I left, and headed up to my room. To tell you the truth, I kinda forgot about what I had told him. Josh was a really cool guy - he knew everybody and was really nice - so I thought he was probably just being polite he said he'd maybe stop by.

Hanging in my room, my neighbor Tom stopped by to say hi and we were chatting. T.S. was also there with a couple of her friends, and they started talking about Josh. "He's that cute Puerto Rican boy!" said one of them. "Yeah...mmm." said another. I was surprised - even they knew him! Wow, maybe he had just texted them telling them he would stop by to say hi. It would be funny for him to see that it was my room, too.

All of a sudden, there's a knock at the door. "JOSH!!!" they all yelled when he came in. I smiled and said "Hey", Tom also introduced himself. I was confused as to whether Josh had come to hang out with me or with those girls.

He had two bottles of water in his hands. "Hey...is anybody thirsty?" he asked, "I have an extra water." One of T.S.'s friends snatched it up and said "Thanks". I was going to say I had wanted it since I had just sang, but I didn't want to interrupt. I could tell that those girls liked him.

After that, Tom left, and I invited Josh over to my side of the room to check out my new songs that I had written on GarageBand. He smiled and told me he really liked them, and even helped me mix them. The girls left, and Josh and I got to talking. It turns out he's actually from PERU, not Puerto Rico (lol)...and he's a Libra. Haha. We compared Libra with Gemini and every astrology page on the internet told us that we were the perfect fit - soulmates, actually. We looked at each other awkwardly, and laughed. What's going on?

We ended up spending the entire night up together, talking about our lives and what our goals were in life. Turns out, we both want to open a music school for underpriveleged kids when we get older, so that any child - no matter what their social or monetary background - can get an equal musical education. He's also very Christian, and has great morals and values. He told me about a church he goes to here in Boston, and said he would be more than delighted to bring me to a service when we got back. Both of us were also very familiar with worship songs, and were singing them together all night. =) We found out we had a lot more in common than we thought!

Josh also told me that he wasn't the committing type. He had never had a serious girlfriend, and he was really afraid of ever getting one.

The night went on (to early morning), and we were still just hanging in my room. We have a deeper connection, I can feel it, I thought. I asked him what he thought, and he said, "I can definitely feel a connection between us. I don't know what it is...I've never felt this before."

I knew that he wasn't into commitment, so I didn't want to push anything. He kept telling me that he didn't know the first thing about relationships, and didn't know how to be a good boyfriend. I said, "Just forget about it then...whatever", and we walked to Tedeschi's together (this was now 4am).

In the store, he asked me what I thought about PDA in public. I said, "Well, if you're comfortable and you like someone, I don't see the problem with a little peck or holding hands." He then looked me in the eyes, and asked, "Does it go a little something like this?" ...then he kissed me!

It was the sweetest thing ever. From there on, we hung out those last three days...it was amazing (more details later!). When it was time for his bus to leave for New York, I was really sad to see him go. He kissed me and told me that he'd be thinking and dreaming about me the whole time and he couldn't wait until we'd be back again. Ever since then, we've been talking on the phone and texting non-stop. He finally asked me out, and we changed our "statuses" together on Facebook!!! It was so cute, and I know it was a big step for him. I'm so proud of you, Josh!

There is no remedy for love but to love more.

I'm finally happy again. I have a new outlook on life. God has come through to show me His true power time and time again, always answering my prayers or teaching me an important lesson in some way.

I'm so excited for what's to come next!!!

"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built."
- Eleanor Roosevelt